Kyoki aise main uske ghar walo ki najro me aa skata tha.Wese baat toh uski bhi shi thi, kyoki uske ghar wale ek kafi amir khaandan ke hai. Usko mujhe se chhup chhup kar milne aur chhup chhup kar chudai karwane me hi maja aata tha.Thodi der baad Charu ki mummy aa gyi, Charu ne kha ki ye main uska class fellow hoon. Aur hum dono ek ache dost hai. Main bhi Charu ki haan me haan milata chala gya. Par dosto jab maine pehli baar Charu ki mummy ko dekha toh main pagal ho gya tha.Main kese apne aap ko aur apne hatho ko control kar rha tha, ye sirf aur sirf mujhe hi pata hai. Uski mummy ke aage Charu kuch bhi nhi thi. Uski mummy roop ki devi thi. Wo karib 37 ya 39 saal ki hogi, par is umar me wo itni jyada khoobsurat thi.Sach kehun toh mere pass uski khoobsurati batane ke liye word kam pad jayegen. Main apni life me unse khoobsurat aurat kabhi nhi dekhi thi. Unki ankhen Charu se kafi badi aur nashe se bhari hui thi. Unki nose ek dam tikhi aur halki si lambi. Jise dekhte hi mere dil me pehla. That is, for all intents and purposes, ‘you’. Just the fact that she was now a ‘farmers wife’, whether anyone else saw her that way or not, had gone a long way towards eroding Katie’s self image. The very label created a box that was cramped and restrictive, and she felt an incipient claustrophobia as she thought about herself slowly, imperceptibly sinking into it’s narrow confines and growing comfortable there. What would another five years bring? Or ten? Or twenty? Would she still be the same woman who once believed that she could do anything? What was that old saying? ‘What you can believe, you can achieve’ Maybe so, but first you have to be able to believe it, and sometimes it was hard to even remember what that sort of ‘belief’ felt like. The exhilarating sense of freedom and power that came with the feeling that the future was wide open, that the past and present were just steps leading towards an open door and not, as she had begun to feel lately in some of her darker moments,.
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