She was a shell of her former self. She had lost a lot of weight, and her glorious mane of raven-black hair was just now growing back. She seemed so frail, so weak. So unlike the vibrant woman I was used to seeing.But her smile never changed. The look in her eyes told me how much she loved me.For a while, she tried to function around the house, but she quickly got worse. As the cancer spread, so did the terrible pain. Her body was often hunched over and she had to fight to smile, something that previously came so naturally to her.At first, we gave her drugs to numb her, but they made her sleepy and prone to blackouts. She said she didn't want to spend the last weeks of her life in an opium-like haze, so she had her doctor reduce the dosages. She was lucid, but every movement cut her like a knife. I don't know how she could tolerate it.We put a hospital bed in our room and soon McKayla was spending more and more time in it, until she became too weak to get up. Four months had passed. "You got a long walk ahead," Hanson said. He had his arms folded on the edge of the window and an unlit match twitched in the corner of his mouth. "Won't take me fifteen minutes to drop you off."Billie-Ann wished she could hide the book with the pack of pictures inside, but there was nothing to do except press it tighter against her tummy and hope that Hanson wouldn't find out what she had. "Really, I... I just as soon walk," she said, smiling for the first time.Hanson gave a knowing laugh. "Shit, Billie," he said. "You act 'bout as bad as them struttin' small-town snobs down there in Dooberville. I can hear their mamas tellin' 'em now." Hanson wagged his head back and forth and put on a silky-sweet white woman's way of speaking. "Now, honey, don't you ever get in a car with no niggah... you heah? Why, he might just rub black all over you."Billie wasn't sure what Hanson'd said that made her laugh, but suddenly there she was, laughing fit to kill. It made her remember him from before.
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