.......But bury my lady at the top for she was of noble kin.” This gets an extended round of applause, they go off and don’t return. In the comparative silence that follows conversations around us swell in volume, but not to the extent of making us have problems talking.“That last song they did, do you know all the words, all the way through? ““Yes, and some of the variations that Fairport put in.”“What do you mean by variations?”“The verse that goes,”“How do like my feather bed, how do you like my sheets?“How do like my lady wife who lies in your arms asleep?“Upon occasion becomes,”“How do like my feather bed, how do you like my sheets?“How do like my curtains I got from Ikea last week?“Why do they do that?”“I have no idea, one theory is it might help track bootleg copies, but I think that’s a load of tosh, I like to think it’s to keep the fans off balance when they sing along.” Now the Bounty Hounds have finished what will we do next?“Well we were just going to do the tourist bit,. A suit is a neat start to impress her. But youshould care more about your inner values. You can blind a girl with yoursuit, but once you make love to her, she will see you for what you are." Oh." I was heading straight into another morality sermon.Why the hell did I get up so early? All I got here was one crap lectureafter another, when I could just lie in my bed... uh... in my cum-soakedbed.There was still half an hour left before I needed to walk to school. Idecided I would leave early and take my time. No need to hurry. I ratherneeded to escape Mom's clutches. When Mom was in sermon mode, she'd hopfrom one embarrassing topic to the next. This morning proved it."So, any advice, Mom?" I heard the advice before: Talk nice, look her inthe eyes, and no touching. I could already bet that today's advice wasgoing to be different."Plenty of advice! See, if a girl talks to you, look her firmly in thecleavage. And if she jiggles her tits, you can start touching them. Andthen, if she's still.
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