Crossaphilia:- The desire to tackle the first person to win a high school cross country race and **** them til they cry for their mommy. 17. Hockaphilia:- The urge to **** any given person at any given time that is within the Hockomock area. 16. Trampaphillia:- The uncontrollable urge to have sex with, or on, a trampoline. 15. Asianophilia:- The desire to make all beings in sight; both human and a****l, Asianfied. 14. Stuffaphilia:- The urge to want to have sex with everything in sight 13. Audiophilia:- The desire to seek pleasure from the vibration of sound waves. 12. OscarWildeishphilia:- Attempting to imitate the "sexcapades" of Oscar Wilde. 11. Pedophilia:- The desire to have sex with feet. 10. Loliphilia:- The desire to have sex with small cartoon c***dren anytime you see them.9. Technophilia:- The desire to have sex with a computer...or a nerd 8.Panphilia:- The desire to have sex with members of the genus Pan (chimpanzees, bonobos, and Peter) 7. Spedophilia:- The desire to have. " We fixed plates for ourselves and sat down at the table. This was it, the moment of truth. I looked from Carl to Becky and back to Carl. I put butter and syrup on my pancakes and cut a small piece. I watched Carl intently as I lifted the fork, stopping before I got it to my mouth."If this is poisoned, I'll haunt your ass for eternity." I said before taking a bite.I was floored, it was amazing. This was something that Carl cooked.. Carl, the man who burned pizza rolls, who made chicken so dry the desert seemed tropical.. What had happened?My eyes went wide as I chewed and swallowed. I looked at him in confused silence for a moment."Well, how is it?" He asked, barely able to contain his excitement."It's.. It's.. Amazing! Who did you pay to make this for you?" I joked."I'm glad you like it. I followed the directions on the box." He was victorious and it showed."Wait a minute.. You can read!?" My quip was met by a flying napkin. We finished breakfast with more jokes as Carl's.
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