" Why?"He pulls his legs to his chest. He hates that he's so short that he cando that in this chair, so he lets them drop. "It just is. And we weretalking about my hair..."More writing. "We will. But I just want to talk a little bit about whythis is different. Ok?"The way she says 'OK,' reminds him of his mom. "Fine," he huffs. "It'sdifferent because I wanted to do this. This is mine." What do you mean it's yours?" It's what I like. I didn't want to go to the dance. I didn't want towear that dress. I told you that already. I wanted to do this. That'sthe difference." Do you think it has something to do with your old life?" Why can't I just like the movie? What's the big deal? I like themovie. I didn't like the dance. Why do you have to make such a big dealof it?" He starts scratching his arm. He felt her staring at him. "It'sjust an itch! And we were talking about my hair!"She smiles and writes, again, "So we were. Why do you think yourmother's so against it?"He looks at the floor,. "The whole thing was afarce, it was ridiculous to think I could ever really be anything like anormal girl. Because I never was."I felt like a monster. I just wanted to crawl into a dark cave somewhereand grow scales and a tail.They just shook their heads but had nothing more to say. Liz eventuallywhispered "Maybe with time you can make peace with yourself. There are alot of people on your side. We all want you to win this struggle."I wanted to scream and fight but everybody just wanted to be kind andhelpful so I couldn't.It was just a couple days now until the start of school and I had nofall outfits. Since I had recently refused my friends when they tried totake me to the mall just as they had earlier in the summer, I let momtake me shopping now, just to get it done with. I rejected all the cutetrendy outfits. that was not me, it was not how I felt. I ended upchoosing some shapeless pullover tops, turtleneack sweaters, and basicjeans. I would look more like Butch, like the guy who.
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