I don’t need a lecture.” He mumbled through a mouthful of cereal.Mary spun around and grimaced at her incompetent brother. “What you need is a good kick in the pants!” She stomped away, her full bottom shaking with each upset step as her firm chubby legs churned and wobbled under her jean shorts towards her bedroom.I’ll give you a good kick, he thought, glaring at his retreating sister, who was 8 years his senior. He took another bite of cereal and looked out the kitchen window again, tucking the troublesome lock of hair behind his ear once more. The neighbor lady was no longer in her front garden. He pictured her with her hands on her hips lecturing him about mowing the lawn, followed by a grab of his ear and being tossed over her lap for a swift solid spanking. His lanky face eased into a rather large smile.Later in the morning, while Mary had left for a grocery run, Gaden was busy priming the lawn mower in the garage. His skinny form gave the starter a good yank and the mower. 'This one is compliments of RrroscoA salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress. A sign read: "Don't miss Jock TheAmazing Scotsman".The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings!The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a new poster for the same circus and the same sign:"Don't miss Jock The Amazing Scotsman" He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act!He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his.
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