“Thirty-nine” I mumbled. “A little more than twice Mehul’s age,” I whispered. “Soon to be 40,” I added. “Not bad for 39 almost 40,” I said turning profile both ways studying my body for the first time in years. “Could use another day at the gym each week but other than that,” I mumbled.Mehul’s 18th birthday was on a Wednesday. That Friday evening at dinner, he said he might go to a movie. I asked which film and with whom but he wasn’t sure. Instead of watching TV, I decided to go to my room at the end of the hall after doing the dishes with my son. “You’re not going to bed are you Dad?” Mehul asked. “Nope, just going into my room,” I answered telling him I’d see him later whenever he returned home. “Have a nice time at the movies.”I thought I had shut my bedroom door but it bounced back open one third. “Shit” I muttered leaving it ajar walking over to my closet. I opened it and reached inside looking up at a ledge above my duds grabbing a shoe-box. I snickered feeling giddy holding. But, it was some time before I myself realized that it was meant as an insult. Having grown up without a mother, it was only natural that I had no one to tell me that I was the most beautiful person in the world( but, considering the typical mama’s of those days, I seriously doubt I would have ever had such words uttered to me by her.), but as is the case in most stories, my mother-figure came in the form of my personal handmaid, Martha- complete with bedtime stories ,motherly scolding and illogical concerns. My beauty, if it can be called that was nothing eye-catching- very plain features, deep brown eyes , a full curvaceous figure which I had been taught to be ashamed of, 5’4 feet height and combined with that voice…I was not only ugly , I was considered an abomination. To make things worse, I knew how to race horses (none of the side-saddle nonsense, mind you) and was well read than most of my father’s colleagues . Six years away at the convent had done nothing but to teach me to.
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