“But Sir, this horse is male ... a gelding, in fact!”“No, no, no,” President Trump replies, “she’s definitely a mare.”“Mr President, I assure you this is most definitely a stallion, sans a few bit of anatomy. Why are you sure it’s a mare?”“Well, when I was riding down the final straight all alone, I saw a kid in the crowd point in my direction and call out ‘Hey Dad, check out the big cunt on this horse’.”At a G8 summit, after a pretty contentious set of meetings, Presidents Trump and Putin go for a walk in the nearby woods to see if they can come to a personal agreement on the issues. As they’re walking along the path Jesus appears in front of them.They’re even more surprised when he says to them, “Gentlemen, you need to try harder to resolve your differences. Anything is possible if you put your minds to it.”The both vocally disagree, saying resolution is impossible, to which Jesus replies, “Look, I’ll prove anything’s possible to you!”“How!” they chorus.“Follow me.” Jesus leads. ” Sheila pushed her chair back as she rose to her feet, leaned forward with her hands braced on the edge of the table.“The second agenda item is more, err, delicate. Against our will, we have a man living with us. What are we going to do with him?” Sheila scanned the faces of the assembled sisters. “This isn’t a rhetorical question. We’ve got a problem, and he’s sitting right there,” Sheila turned and pointed her finger at me. “What are we going to do about this man?” Sheila asked as the rising chatter of the sisters became a din of noise as the implications of her question became apparent.Great! She had dumped the question of my future into the collective laps of the Sisterhood. Sheila looked into my face, and we made eye contact. To compensate for my hearing loss, I had become fairly proficient at lip-reading. I was certain she mouthed the words, “Don’t you worry.” Either that or she had whispered, “You’re fucked.”“This tribunal will render its decision on Mr. Richards’ future.
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