.” she smirked.“OK,” I laughed. “Not THAT kind of help, but anything I can provide.”“You are the best, Steve. Can I have a hug?”“Absolutely!” I said, standing up.She melted into my arms and I held her for several minutes. She gave me a quick kiss and stepped back.“Thanks. I’m going to call Red and tell him.”“Good for you, Peaches. I’ll miss you a lot.”“I’ll miss you too, Yankee.”I hugged her again, and this time, we exchanged a soft kiss. She smiled and left the room. I gave up on the book and went to find Jackie. She was sitting with Cindi, Julia, and Elyse, and I said I was going upstairs. The girls said goodnight and Jackie nodded, indicating that she’d be up when they were done talking. I went upstairs, and decided to write in my journal until she came up.“Hey,” Jackie said when she came to the door.“Hey, just finishing up. Come on in,” I said.I typed one more sentence, saved my journal entries, and shut down the computer.“Writing in your journal?”“It’s been a heck of a week,” I. That fact is heartbreakingly true. He loves someone else and a future together is something that could never be achieved no matter how much effort is put forth. I fully grasp the reasoning to which I cannot have the man I want and I understand that he wishes to have someone else for his wife but I keep finding myself unable to let go, despite knowing full well that I need to lock his memory away for my sanity. I find myself refusing any advances of romance or love. Despising them, even. I have noticed myself becoming hateful and bitter. I hate that I was not good enough to deserve his love and have found myself sitting and wondering what was wrong with me. He has turned me into a person that I am not and I can slowly feel more and more of myself slipping away. Still, I pathetically dream of him and the life I so desperately wish to live with him and only him. I think of a life full of unconditional love and happiness. I wish to come home to a house full of our memories together, the.
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