My night terrors were getting worse rather than better, and I had just enough sense left to know that if I had a woman sharing my bed, the odds were that I'd stab her in my delirium with the dagger that I kept under my pillow every night.The idea of sleeping without my dagger to protect me from the ghostly Caestorian scout was inconceivable; I chose to sleep alone instead.When spring came, I forced myself to cut down the drinking a little bit so that I could start the plowing of the farm fields. I didn't have much money of my own and my father now quite despaired of my ever returning to reason, but he wouldn't subsidize my attempt to drink myself to death. I would have to make the farm productive, or at least enough so to grow enough for my needs. The idea of completing my school education and entering my apprenticeship under my father, as we had planned before the war, was now laughable, particularly as my hands now shook too much to even hold a quill, let alone write with it, even. Main jab bhi kabhi bahar market jati thi apni friend ke sath to bhaiya mujhe dekh kar smile karte the.Hum dono log pahle se to jyada hi kareebiya aa gayi thi. Hum dono log itna kareeb aa gaye ki ek din bhaiya mujhse baat karte karte mujhe jor se kiss kar diye. Mujhe bahut accha laga ki koi itna jor se mujhe kiss kiya. Bhaiya mujhe kiss karne ke bad tum bahut acchi ho tum hi ho jisse main apni baaten share karta hu.Main tumko pasand karne lage hu. Main bhi smile karke thoda unko positive response de rahi thi. Ek din sab log out of city gaye the mall mein shopping karne ke liye waha koi offer tha to mere ghar ke sab log mall chale gaye. Main sabke liye khana banane ke liye ghar mein hi ruk gayi apni kaamwali ke sath.Aur main apne ghar ka kaam karne lagi. Bhaiya kuch der ke bad mere ghar aaye to to main kaamwali ko chutti de di aur usko boli ki aap jao main sab kaam kar lungi. Kaamwali apne ghar chali gayi aur ab main aur bhaiya hum dono log hi ghar mein akele the.Bhaiya der na karte.
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