“It’s fucking pouring out.” “Here, let me get you out of those clothes, baby.” He never said a word about the bruises or the way I smelled like sex or my missing underwear or the way I stumbled over words and looked slightly unfocused as he kissed me gently and removed his gift from my hand before wrapping me up in a warm blanket and heating up a cup of hot chocolate in the microwave for me. For once I was thankful for the hard rain, seeing as it had washed all the cum out of my hair and off my face. “Merry Christmas, baby. Open it,” I told him between sips, my eyes shining with unshed tears, knowing that we both deserved better, yet unable to keep a little joy seeping into my heart at his expression. “Where the fuck did y... ,“ he started, then shook his head, his smile both joyful and sad. “Never mind, doesn’t matter. Thank you, baby. Merry Christmas. I love you. Here. Ain’t much, but…” He was right. It wasn’t much. A pair of little butterfly earrings that I’d once fussed over at. The bird’s on the way to pick you up. You’ll be drinkin’ Jack and fuckin’ round-eye nurses in a couple days.’ Then he was gone, on the way to join the platoon, and I laid on the ground slipping into the reverie of the dope, as a small rear guard waited to load me on the Huey. I don’t remember much of the flight back to the field hospital, just some noise and unrelated sights. When they unloaded me, and took me to the hospital, I remember a doctor saying, ‘Well, this boy’s going to go home less one leg,’ and then another voice saying, ‘Wait a minute. It’s not as bad as it looks. Let’s get the bleeding stopped, pack it, and send him to Saigon. Let them decide.’ I went out just after I felt the needle slip in my arm. There are more fuzzy sights and sounds that I recall if I think very hard, but the next thing I have actual memory of is waking up in a hospital bed, and looking down to see if my leg was still there. I couldn’t lift my head very high, and was cursing my weakness when arms.
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