Ive seen you piss before you even pissed on me once if I remember right”. “Yes but I was drunk then and now I have this big fat belly to carry around”. I felt my heart give a little jolt as I remembered her squatting over my face and calling me a bastard as she unleashed a torrent of yellow piss over my face chest and cock. Ah happy days I mused. Then I had an idea. “what about the maxi pads you carry around in your handbag to keep your pants dry when you get overly wet from the vaginal mucus. She smiled and said genius I’ll just slip one in my knickers have a piss and no one will see me naked.I said look there’s a tree over there we’ll be screened and I’ll help you. She was wearing a thick pair of black woollen tights with knee length leather boots and a short black skirt that hugged her arse and fat thighs. I looked around to make sure we had some privacy and she opened her handbag and unfurled the pad. She tried to lower her tights but couldn’t get under the skirt as. No longer did she just stand smiling on page 3, now she was recounting her sexual experiences with footballers and the sort of Z-rate celebrities she hadn’t been willing to become herself, or just showing off the latest enhancement to her body. For now, trips to the surgeon were so regular, you could almost base a calendar on them. I only realised I loved Alice when I still collected every product this monstrous creature endorsed. When finally everything crashed down, and she had to have those nearly rupturing silicone sacks that cheap butcher had crammed into her removed, she begged me to help, and I acquiesced. The day of her operation, I dismissed my staff. They were shocked and reluctant, but I paid their excellent salaries and they had no choice. The only person I kept on was the anaesthetist, my best friend and the only man I could trust with what I was going to do. And now I wrought my greatest work, operating with astonishing skill and dazzling quickness. Like before, it was.
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