Jake rarely ever cracked the cover of a textbook and was always on the honor roll. Even though I was tall, I was skinny and not very athletic. Jake was on his school's varsity football team. I had to work my way through college at various odd-jobs that barely managed to pay for tuition. Jake won an academic scholarship that was paying for most of his education. And that's not to mention the girls. Jake was a chick magnet, there was no other way to describe it. Girls that would not even give me the time of day were throwing themselves at him. He had a different date every weekend all during High School. All of this would have been enough to make me really hate him if it was not for the fact that he genuinely loved and respected me. He was constantly boasting about any accomplishment that I made, no matter how much his may have outshone mine, and his opinions were genuine, not feigned. It's hard to dislike someone like that and I found it impossible. Only once did I ever manage a. “The Moon Landing was almost 40 years ago.” Said Jimmy Craktcorn “No” said Ralph. “It was today at 4:17:42 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time. Today July 20, 1969.” “Here its June 18, 2007.” Said Jimmy Craktcorn “I must have the wrong number.” Jimmy Craktcorn hung up the phone.Suddenly, Jimmy Craktcorn cut a fart that stank even worse than the fart he had expelled previously which smelled like something had crawled up his ass and died. This most recent fart smell like something had crawled up the ass of what ever had crawled up his ass and died…and died! Jimmy Craktcorn took an acid reducer to neutralize gastric acidity causing the heartburn, acid indigestion, sour stomach, and farts that stank even worse that something crawled up his ass and died. Soon, Jimmy Craktcorn had a runny nose, dizziness, and a decrease in semen. Jimmy Craktcorn stood up and experienced a sudden decrease in blood pressure that could have resulted in fainting so Jimmy Craktcorn sat back down.Four hours later,.
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