”“Make sure you have fun this weekend. Do something for yourself.”Guiltily thinking I already have, I reply, “Thanks, good idea.”“Love you, Fleur.”“Love you, Ryan.”Lying down with the lights out, a Katy Perry song runs through my mind. ‘I kissed a girl and I liked it.’ Andie tasted yummy but not a hint of cherry.I smile and drift off to sleep realizing that it was only a kiss. Not too bad really, I rationalize, unsure that Ryan would see it that way.**************I wake, the silence broken by the tweet of birds from the bedroom balcony. And remember last night and her kiss.My right hand reaches for my left hand. Holding my engagement ring is comforting. I recall Ryan on one knee, proposing. Surprised, but yes. Of course, yes, why not.Thump, the noise barely registers. Thump, two seconds later, I focus.Thump, from next door. What is it? Thump, I slip out of bed.The noise misses its regular beat. Reaching for my silk robe that hangs near the sliding doors, I slide it on. The feel of. This had been the act that she’d ached for the most before she’d had her first lover. This was one of her favourite things to do in the whole world. Why was she so distracted now? She glanced up. Arlene was obviously enjoying this, she thought, what was her problem? She was doing what she’d missed doing for so long, but she wasn’t getting much from it. She had to keep her eyes open the whole time. That was it. Every time she closed them, she saw his face instantly. She kept seeing a slideshow on the backs of her eyelids. A rapid-fire presentation that always came back to Cale sitting against a concrete post, eyes closed, and a single tear on his cheek. This wasn’t going to work, she realised at last and finished Arlene quickly. She pleaded a headache and arranged for a raincheck for the shoot and got Arlene out of the place as fast as she could without letting on too much. She washed her face and made herself a coffee. What was the matter with her? She shook her head – there was no.
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