. EVER!!!!I’ve got scratches all over my thighs, a septic bite wound in one testicle and my shreddies are covered in skidmarks. I’m going back to using paper next week!This One Is Compliment of John A.This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico...New Mexico Chili Cook-off If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there’s no hope for you. I had tears in my eyes by the end.For those of you who have lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Frank, who was from Springfield, Illinois.Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off ... The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came. "VOICE: "Yes, we can allow for that. They can become pregnant if they want to, but it has to be a conscious command before it will happen. Otherwise, the female's body will block that as it would any other invading organism."ME: "OK, I guess that covers my current questions. Show me what else you have for me to see."At this request, the gray fog began to fade away and I could see a vast panorama of marvelous buildings scattered amid a rolling plain of mostly orange vegetation. The voice in my head told me that this color for the grass and leaves was the result of a copper base in the local equivalent of chlorophyll.I was told to run as fast as I could toward a blue building on the horizon. I began to run and I was amazed at how fast I moved. I couldn't help laughing at the way my genitals bounced up and down and side-to-side as I ran. This bouncing wasn't painful, which I found surprising.The voice told me to stop running and to jump as high as I could. I must have jumped at least 10.
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