My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.I'll bet you $4,567 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie.Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.Ever stop to think and forget to start again?When I married Mr. Right, I had no idea his first name was Always.My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test--the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.There may be no excuse for laziness,. When I started the webcam this time she was on her knees in front of the computer. Crouched down and folded in three. She had her forehead on the floor until she heard the beep signalling my message that greeted her. She lifted one hand and touched the keyboard. Immediately her response appeared on my screen. She must have prepared it beforehand."Master, I am sorry to report to you my usefulness. I have been unable to fulfill the task you have given me. I am not worthy to be your trapped girl. Would you be so kind as to punish me for my lack in achievement?"I had wanted to compliment her on how pretty she looked laying like that. I hadn't had the idea of wanting to see her like that. But it did look good and natural. So when I saw her message it took me a while to get the meaning.There where a couple of things that struck me odd. It was the first time she addressed me as Master. It was always a respectful Sir. Somehow this task had given her the idea she had stepped over a threshold..
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