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Her legal secretary, Alice, ushered me through the door into Linda's inner sanctum immediately.Linda listened to me relate the minutes of this morning's meeting with increasing incredulity and amusement. She finally bursting into laughter as I described Janet's facial gymnastics as the Manatee Bay Board of Education Chairman had tried to keep from melting down in front of the merciless gaze of both the town's mayor and its most successful entrepreneur."OK," she demanded as I wrapped up the tale, "let's see your notes."I handed over the tiny pocket notebook I'd written the bullet points on. Fortunately, Linda burst into snickers rather than indignation at the minuscule scrap that was as close as I had been able to find to actual writing paper.It didn't take her long to write up the proposal in legal but clear English, expanding on the issues of insurance, damages, costs and escort by adults, and creating a special section covering the need for class lectures on the subjects of family. "When the teddies were selected, I fished my American Express out of thepurse. Since I was still not totally used to the fingernails, I broughtout the tampon along with it and it dropped on the counter. I handedthe girl the card and in a very sexy voice proclaimed to her that itwas that time of the month. She turned to the back to process thecredit card and then turned back."I'm sorry madam, we are only allowed to process credit cards when theholder is present. Maybe you have another form of payment?"Melanie looked me in the face and said, "What are you going to do now,wiseass?"In my strongest Ken, macho biker voice, I spoke directly to the girl ina very loud voice. "Who do you think I am? I am the cardholder."The girl's jaw dropped to her knees and Melanie dropped to the floor inlaughter. The young cashier hurried to process the card payment and Isigned the slip as best I could with my nails. Melanie got to her feetand I swirled around in my bondage boots and hand in hand, we made.
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