I had been laid before but I had never had a girl touch my dick. I almost wrecked the car before I could pull over. By that time she had my pants unzipped and was jacking me off. My dick was in the hands of an experienced lady and she was doing things to me that I could only have dreamed were possible. She was squeezing my balls and twisting them to the breaking point. My disgust for her turned in to lust as I mentally prepared to have my two minutes of pleasure with her. She got out of the car and into the back seat and took off her clothes for the fifth time. I followed her into the back seat and my face passed over her sloppy crotch; the smell of cum was overpowering. (We’re getting to the part I have not told to anyone, ever.) She grabbed my head and forced my mouth on to her open pussy. I was stunned. I tried to pull away but she held on tight and I couldn’t escape. Until then I had never even smelled a pussy much less had one in my mouth. Of course her pussy didn’t smell like a. A tampon!" (That was some good catnip.)After laughing so hard I peed myself (Look, what she and I do in private is our business as consenting adults, and she will consent to anything!) I tenderly patted her lustrous black hair and said, "You were so close, baby, but the correct answer is 'charcoal'." Which led us to the patio and a rusted out grill.Opening it, I was startled to discover a singing frog, belting out "My Ragtime Gal," as he emerged, dancing like an amphibian Rockette. Surprised, I stumbled until sprawling over a cat so fat and lethargic it must have been on an all lasagna diet. Unfortunately, my heel landed on its neck with a gruesome, cracking sound followed by a brief, very brief, screech.. .and not the one from "Saved By the Bell."I would have enjoyed sending that so-called actor to a woeful demise. Purloined, my delightful ass! The beast was asleep on the kitchen floor like me after a bender. Who allegedly purloined it anyway, Mr. Sandman?I grabbed Cynthia's hand.
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