She wanted to linger with her feelings, to keep the weight of her past and future off her shoulders. She got back into bed and allowed the music to seem into her soul. Sometimes it would be easier if she had someone by her side but she loved the struggle of trying to make it on her own. But there was no way to relieve her pain except through solo sex and lots of work. But nothing seemed to permanently ease those painful times. One of those times had been when her husband Mark had died in a car accident on Christmas Eve. He had been rushing home on a rainy night because she had complained that morning about how much time he was taking away from his family to climb the corporate ladder of success. In the two years since his death, Jasmine had been consumed with so much guilt that she’d blocked off entire sections of her heart to help ease the pain. It had been her decision to raise their twin boys in the country, two hours away from Mark’s offices. She had wanted them to embrace the. He stood beside me and pulled my head into his stomach and rubbed my shoulders while I finished what I had to do. At some point in there, I stopped crying. I guess I passed the point where I couldn’t be any more embarrassed so I stopped crying. Actually it wasn’t as bad as I’d feared. I mean this was Dan. It’s not like he’s going to make fun of me or anything. Not for something like this, anyway.Once I was finished I bent to pull my pants up but he stopped me. He stood me up and looked in my eyes.“You need a shower,” he said.Then he started unbuttoning my top and taking it off. I stood with my pants around my ankles and let him undress me. About the time he had my shirt off and was unbuckling my bra, I looked sideways at the shower cubicle and said, “But...” but he just said “Shhh,” and finished undressing me.When I was naked, he put a shower cap on me and carefully tucked all of my hair into it. Then he pulled the shower curtain aside and pushed me under the water. I had to close my.
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