I was really really drunk but I still knew what I was doing. I went and filled my tub and almost fell a few times before I went to my kitchen and went into my junk drawer. I grabbed my bottle of alcohol after I found a razor blade and went back to the bathroom. I pulled my long blonde hair back, put it in a bun and turned the bath water off. I started sobbing again and the whole time I sobbed, I thought about Mason. I thought about how happy he made me, how amazing he was to me, how amazingly handsome he was and how he made me feel the whole time we courted before the order took him away from me. I thought about how the order destroyed me as a person, and how they hid my husband after he killed my baby, and almost killed me. I thought about how worthless I felt, and how I needed to do Mason and the world a huge favor and kill myself. I was tired of hurting, I was tired of being so so depressed and I was tired of living, I was done. I sobbed so hard that after I got naked, I fell on. This time Brian was half way towards me to take the pig from me for a second time. He repeated the procedure a little more slowly than the first time and I took that to mean he enjoyed the first time very much. Brian was so naïve. He did exactly what I had told him to do and as I entered the muddy pen with him I slipped at the appropriate time, grabbing his arm and taking him down with me. It was a fall that I had suffered many times in my life. It is one of the hazards of working with pigs, and I knew exactly how to break my fall to perfection. We both hit the mud together. Steve landed on his face with mud trickling down his chest. I landed on my shoulder which broke my fall nicely. I then rolled onto my chest and ensured that the mud got everywhere it needed to get. “Oh! Bugger…” I shouted as I sat up in the pen, covered in mud. Brian looked just as bad. Then we started laughing. We both held our arms up and shook the mud off them. “Come on, we need to get this off quickly.
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