I’m a loser,” he said, one more time. But he had more control now. It was more of a statement. He pulled back, looking me in the eye, declared it again: “I’m a loser, Mr. James.”“No, Ryan. You’re not.”“What I got that’s good, huh,” he snuffed, daring me to find his strengths in the pile of weaknesses that grasped my larger frame.“Son – yeah – you’re fucked up. But we all are. Fuck, k**. I’m a drunk. Holding on one day at a time. You’ll figure out your shit – in the meantime, you’re strong. You’re a very strong man. You can work like an ox. You been pulling your weight. All summer. Fuck, k**, look at your body. You’re stacked. Your head – it’ll follow – so will your heart, if you let it. But right now – well, look at ya, k**. You’re a fucking stud – handsome as shit, too. If you smiled more . . . hell … “He was looking at me. Deeply. He clutched me, then, feeling my arms – my muscles. He pushed into me. It was clumsy. And unexpected. His face rose up –wet with tears.“Do you really. When we arrived at his home, Jonah turned off the engine and looked at me. 'Can I fuck you?' he asked bluntly.'Well, that depends,' I replied, stalling for time because his coarseness had taken me aback. Surely a guy was meant to build up to this kind of thing, not blurt the question so directly.'I haven't got time to mess about.' Jonah bit on one of his fingernails, removing a loose piece. 'Do you want to fuck or not? If not, I can just take you home.''Yes, I want to fuck,' I said slowly, 'as long as you fuck me really hard.'Jonah offered a small smile but didn't look at all impressed by my request. 'I always fuck hard,' he said, releasing his seatbelt. 'The question is, how much can you take?'He stepped out of the car and shut the door, leaving me in my seat, slightly stunned. Perhaps I should have been at least a little more careful about what I'd wished for because Jonah had looked slightly psychopathic when he'd questioned what I could take. I decided to take the risk and got.
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