” His voice conveyed a sense of gravity and seriousness that was so unlike his normal jovial way of speaking. He sighed deeply, which I instinctively read as a harbinger of bad news, then said, “You’ll probably hate me for this, but I told your mother everything.”My stomach sank and my heart raced in my chest. “Okaaaay,” I uncertainly.“It was something that I just needed to do to proceed in good conscious, considering everything your mother and I have shared up to this point and what you guys have asked me to do.”There was a long pause.“We had a long, deep discussion about the whole thing,” he continued, “and your mother is in full agreement that this would be the greatest gift that we could give you and Erika ... no reservations.”My voice cracked as I started to speak and tears welled in my eyes. “That’s great news, Dad! I can’t say how much this means to us.”Then Mom came on screen. “Charlie ... Charlie, honey, I do have to say that I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t include. I concocted whoppers of hating school, jealousy of rich people, confessed truthfully to everyday venial sins and fessed up to kissing longer than three seconds, all to establish veracity. Tossing in the failure to observe the Catholic orthodox arbitrary kissing time limit of three seconds was needed plausibility as a priest is not that naïve. In confessionals, they’ve heard it all. Fessing to it, allowed him to think he was monitoring my sex life, a sex life limited to kissing, excluding "petting" and Vixen's pleasures, lies of omission.I "befriended" him by seeking his advice. In the confessional, I explained I had confusion over how to be a good wife. He loved providing guidance on being married and being a wife even though he never was either. Summed up, his curator's advice was; obey my husband, sex is good if for procreation, never divorce and ensure the children are raised as good Catholics. He admonished me to control my protestant fiancé’s sex urges until the wedding vows.
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