" After placing an ad in the Village Voice I sat back and waited for orders to pour in like fan mail to Brad Pitt. It instead trickled like fan mail to Zasu Pitts (paging IMDB ap).I did eventually get my first party request in Queens. So I packed up my party favors and rode a train across town. Once there I sought out the locale of my philanthropic efforts: the Dystrophied Arms Retirement Home and Mausoleum. My hopes for riches were dashed but I kept a stiff-upper-lip. A Granny Clampett wannabe answered the door then guided me into her "courting parlor" where she introduced me to her two GILF friends, Dora and May. They had an antiquated hookah on the coffee table inspiring my hopes for a jovial afternoon.They all three seemed depressed. I don't know if it was a lack of sex or gossip or their own impending doom. Plus their treasured yard sales were temporarily verboten. But I was here to boost morale and heart rate.I felt momentarily guilty attempting to extract cash from these. I was just starting to spread her labia and insert a finger when we heard noise coming from the direction of the galley. We turned to see Bonnie coming towards us. Holy shit Kathy, how can you stand that guy? He hardly slept a wink and wouldnt leave me alone! I didnt know a man could keep an erection that long! I guess I should have knocked first. Kathy, it looks like youre having the same problem! Should I come back later? No, its okay. We were just talking and, you know, passing the time until you two decided to join us. Passing the time . . . Ill need to remember that one! And right behind her was Michael. He walked up behind her and hugged her from behind. Michael, are you hard again? Fuck yeah Im hard! He stepped back and started to stroke himself. I havent been this hard this long since I dont know when. What do you say, want to do it again? Michael, you are such a horny bastard. Why dont you take a break? Weve got 4 more days together. Take a swim and cool off. Rejected, he.
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