"They don't tell us such things. I only see him when he's on furlough." Ah, Strategic Forces?" he nodded. "They are very secretive about their operations. It must be hard on you wives to have your husbands away for so long a time. See, I have a good job. I get to go back home every day, or couple of days. Not for me cooped up on those underwater tin cans for weeks on end. I have the greatest respect for submariners - very dedicated, very brave men, all." In some ways, I'm glad he wasn't here when this, this, thing happened. I like to think he has survived like you have and, soon, he will come into the harbor with his shipmates. If he has gone, I don't want to know. I don't want to know where all of them have gone. Perhaps, we are the lucky ones?" Perhaps, Svetlana," Mischa smiled. "Perhaps, everything was just like the old church used to say, and the chosen have all been taken away into heaven? Just, perhaps, Svetlana, Rostrimov, you and me are the sinful who have been left behind to. But I love you Brian and I couldn't take a chance on losing you so I didn't come to you and tell you this. I was afraid that you would have turned your back on me and so I snuck around behind your back and managed to screw things up anyway."That night at the bar was the third time I dated another guy. The first two I didn't even like well enough to kiss goodnight, but I liked Steve, the one you hit, enough so that I was going to go to bed with him. I didn't though, because he got up and stormed out of the bar and left me there. I did get laid that night. I was hurt and upset and I sat there and drank and I let some guy pick me up. It was awful. Wham, bam and get out of my car bitch before you stain my seat covers."I tried to talk to you but you wouldn't even answer my calls. Then I got mad and went on a man binge. I had sex with at least eighteen different guys before I realized that I felt nothing for any of them and that every one of them lacked the ability to make me feel the way.
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