” I looked at the time. “I tell you what, let’s pick up a few things and we’ll make a picnic of it.”“Cool,” she enthused and smiled again, this time honestly and warmly.We settled on chips and sandwiches from the deli, as well as hummus and a couple of dips, but the strawberries were just coming into season and passing them in the vegetable aisle, I couldn’t resist. I knew precisely what would go with them and bought a bottle of Krug rosé, a bottle of wine and a six pack of beer at the liquor store on our way out.We made our way up the old logging road that ran a serpentine course into the mountains at the back of town. Kelly cracked a couple of beers and we chatted about the East Coast versus the west, about New York City and pointed out wildlife and spectacular scenery to each other. About thirty minutes up, Kelly pointed that I should turn on to a rocky track. The narrow road followed a creek and then ended in a meadow that opened up to the forest and peaks towering all. Then they turned the page...On the second page was written...For 95 points:Which Tire? _________Lovemaking Tips For Seniors And you too Jim!!!!!1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember...6. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act...7. Make all the noise you want ... the neighbors are deaf, too.8. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!9. Don’t even think about trying it twice...‘OLD’ IS WHEN...Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love, ‘ and you answer, ‘Pick one; I can’t do both!’‘OLD’ IS WHEN...Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.‘OLD’ IS WHEN...Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.‘OLD’ IS WHEN...You don’t care where.
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