As far as they told me, it seems to be working pretty good. I'm supposed to be getting released in a few more days." Your mother told me you really look terrible. She says you weigh like a hundred pounds now. She says that I'm to blame." That's not true. I'm to blame. It was congenital, so maybe her and my dad are to blame too. Bad genes or something. Besides, I weigh like one fifty now and the doctor says I'll gain the weight right back in the next couple of months. Mom is just trying to meddle in our problems is all. She is upset about what I did. Did she tell you she punched me and knocked me down?" No, she didn't tell me, but Theresa did. You deserved it too. And a lot worse. I saw you right before you got sick, and I knew something was the matter with you. You looked so skinny and pathetic. I almost started feeling sorry for you." There's no need. I feel sorry enough for me all by myself. I can't even start to tell you how sorry I feel Ellen. For what I did. I wish I hadn't, but. Later the cooks would come to set a hearty meal on trestle tables under the orchard trees, with weak ale and cider to drink, and he would feel content after a long hard day’s work in the gentle autumn sunshine. He thought of cooking in the castle kitchens, quietly absorbed in turning a perfect omelette out of the pan, completely focussed on cooking it just so – a little bit liquid still in the middle. If he were cooking himself some breakfast he would not think about any of the irritating business which his day would bring, just enjoy preparing his food while drinking his coffee from a child’s bowl which that old dear Flada Clathan gave him. He thought of working with Tarra and Laran, of telling Ladda off when she wanted new this and that or tried to persuade him – yet again, to enclose the veranda and the walkways around the inner courtyard. He thought about Fiotr and Petra racing their wheelchairs in the big dim hallway and about the guards flirting with maid-servants and about.
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