“At this time? To see a girl?”“No... I was just gonna walk around. And there’s this new game machine called Space Invaders—““Oh,” she said, then smiled. “Well, that can wait, surely? Let’s have a nice chat until Joe gets back. Please?”I didn’t feel so smart then. Joe wouldn’t be happy if I was still there when he got back, but she’d said “please”.I soon forgot about my plans. Mel was shaking out her hair and her breasts jiggled. I looked away because I’d felt a rise in my pants and I thought Mel might not like that. It had happened in front of a girl in class a week before. She’d looked down, gasped and run away, so I figured girls didn’t like that.Alabama – Montgomery, Alaska – Juneau, I thought.“Have you got a girlfriend?” Mel asked, out of nowhere.“No.” I didn’t mention that I’d never had one, but she didn’t ask. But then she did that keeping quiet thing again, and she was standing close and her perfume smelt good and I talked too much. Again. “I’m not real good with women.”“You. I struggled and struggled, fighting to open my eyes. With a great effort, I forced my eyes open.Where am I? Paradise?No, Paradise wouldn't smell so antiseptic.Then I saw my father glowering down at me. I looked down, and saw the hospital gown covering me. I didn't die, I realized with a sinking feeling. Why was I still alive? I glanced again at my father; hatred and shame burned in his eyes.He knows. He knows my great shame. I wilt beneath the intensity of his gaze, looking away. My mother sat demurely next to me in a dark jilbab and a colorful shaylah covering her head. She was a proper Muslim woman. Unlike me.I felt the tears running down my eyes as I shamefully remembered how amazing being with Lucy had been. Why couldn't I have just died? It would have been so much easier than having to live with this crushing guilt and the hatred burning in my father's eyes."That girl was here," my father barked in Arabic. "That whorish girl you shamed yourself with!" I am sorry, Father," I said.
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