Death seems to be my only solution- my only escape and yet fate has not allowed me to leave this place and, I haven't the courage to do so myself. Invisibility would be a gift and yet the only thing I wish for lies within the bounds of impossibility.I want to disappear from the life I live and find another, I want to leave all those I know forever. I know myself better than any other and I know that I lack the capacity for truly endearing emotions. I love pain and danger yet I feel incapable of love and innocence. My life is a shadow of anger — I'm drowning in rage and disgust for myself. My entire being is an imposition.Water: an undeniably relaxing element. When I feel it swish against me at the beach, when it knocks me under it's surface with powerful surges and when it falls relentlessly from the sky I feel calm — as if my problems have disappeared if only for the moment. However, I know that my element is it's opposite- FIRE. I connect with the flames of a malevolent fire; I see. The other girls followed her lead. Nan went back to her blanket, packed up and donned her sundress. She was nervous about what the rest of her day had in store for her, but was also excited about being so quickly and easily accepted into this circle of friendship and couldn’t wait to enjoy a night out with them. They headed back to the parking lot, talking of the plans for the evening. It was only three in the afternoon, so first was to head back to town for a little shopping before heading back to Sophie’s house to get ready. Nan decided she needed a little more exciting attire and purchased a red dress to wear. Later, as they were getting ready, she put on the dress and the other items she purchased as a whole to get a collective opinion. Nina, who had been riding with Nan, had already seen the dress itself. The dress was strapless, form fitting along the body, but had a layered, ruffled-wrinkle to it so it didn’t expose every line of her body and left a little to the imagination..
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