I shouldn't have been surprised. Mrs. Devers probably had my shrink on speed dial right next to my Mom."She's all yours," was all Devers said, turning me over to what should have been my former middle school counselor. I'd heard my Mom use the term "grandfathered in" about some real estate thing that carried over from the past and I guess that's why the poor woman still had to put up with me. In a way it was a relief, because I knew I could talk to her about anything and it would go no further. There'd be no recriminations, but still..."Where to now?" I asked gloomily, avoiding the comforting arm she tried to put around me. I didn't deserve comforting. I deserved to suffer. "The archery range?" No, the police still have your bow and arrows for evidence. I was thinking of a quieter, more private place."I tried an excuse to go to some fast food joint to delay things. "I'm hungry."Then I realized I really was hungry, which surprised me. But then I'd spent most of my lunch period turning. When that orgasm burst inside of me, I lost it, and losing my senses for a second didn’t help, as the first thing I felt when I ‘came back’ was that excruciating pain in my insides. I didn’t even acknowledge that he had stopped.I had to tell him that. I had to make things right before he gave up on me. He was still completely still behind me, not even hugging me, just staying there with a million terrible things inside his head.So, I remembered what we promised: truth, always.I rolled over and turned to him. He looked at me with curious eyes, sad eyes.“Daddy, can I tell you how I felt yesterday?” I asked.“Sweetheart… I don’t think that would make us any good,” he said in a resolute way, very seriously.“We agreed to tell the truth all the time, so I think you should listen to me before you get to any conclusions,” my turn to put on a very serious face, which I knew I sucked at… At least in front of him. There was no brave, no strong Leticia when I was in front of him. He knew me.
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