This balding, grey-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morley high school.“Yes. Yes, I did. Go the blue, white and red!” he gleamed with pride.“When did you graduate?” I asked.“In 1975” He answered “Why do you ask?”“You were in my class!” I exclaimed.He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, fat-arsed, grey-haired, decrepit son-of-a-birch asked “Oh Really? What did you teach?”This group is compliments of a Friend of J & G.A man dies ‘in the act’ after taking Viagra and rigor mortis has set into his private parts.The funeral director can’t get the coffin lid nailed on and has to discuss the alternatives with the man’s beautiful young widow. “I’m afraid that the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another $3,000 for an extra-large coffin or to amputate his member”.“Well I have no more money” states the widow “and it is against my religion for me to. If he wants details, tell him what was good and what he did, or didn’t do, that meant it wasn’t good for you.” I hope that doesn’t come back to bite me, he thought. Then he added, “There will always be a job for you here if you need one, if only the modelling sessions. Anything else in respect of work will depend on whether I have hired a new housekeeper. I think a clean break in the bed department would be a good idea when you take him back. Each of you having a thing with someone else at the same time means that you aren’t getting one over on the other, but when you are back together afterwards I think faithfulness is underrated nowadays when a couple are married.”She sat thinking for a time, then she said, “So I’m to go back to him, am I, Master?”“Wendy, face it. If he comes back you belong to him. He has first claim on you if he chooses to keep you fed and the mortgage paid. I’m just a stop gap at the moment for you to rely on if he doesn’t. That isn’t an order, just a reasonable.
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