I also helped choose our new apartment, Amy bless her took me round eachone using her i-pad and face time as a video link, Barbara was mostamused, and of course I told my Brett everything.Sophie, now everything was in the open was getting better at her music,both on the piano and saxophone, mum and dad were I think it's true tosay not 100% accepting, but they were comfortable with the situation andperfectly happy having three daughters two daughters and one adopteddaughter, and the strange part of this is that I was Nichola, Sophie wasadopted!!! As they couldn't suddenly announce that they had anotherdaughter - don't ask me how this was done because I haven't a clue and Ididn't ask.Of course as was usual I told Brett everything, including the fact thatmum bought my wedding dress so as I told him very late one night "soBrett Fulton YOU had better recover else you'll have me to answer to!"As I said this I buried my head into his hand and kissed him. "Ok - I'llrecover, I don't want to. The simple act of learninghow to walk well in high heels will counteract the denial for the more youdo it the more natural it becomes lessening the denial. Walking in heelsis addictive, not always comfortable, but undeniably addictive. The seedsof denial are the feelings of guilt and shame and these feelings areentirely self destructive. Stop and think about it. Crossdressing hurtsno one else so why should we allow it to hurt ourselves? Put that bag ofbricks down. One of my crossdressing fantasies centers around the thoughtof "what would you do if you were the last human being on earth." Raiseyour hand if you would crossdress full time every day. If your hand is upand you could imagine this scenario would you even consider itcrossdressing or would it simply be the real you coming to the forefrontwithout fear of judgement?Purging is wasteful and self defeating. Who is kidding who? Even as youpurge your stash you know you can't help but be drawn back to it, itsimply is who you are..
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