Once done, you view your handiwork as an artist. Satisfied, leaving long pieces of the cord dangling loose, you move to the other hand and start there with a fresh cord. Here you are equally systematic, equally skilled. You instinctively ensure that the cord is flat against my skin, the knots tight and secure, trailing my arm in a distinctive pattern, firm, but not too tight. Now it starts to get interesting. You hook my legs up, bending them at the knee, sliding me along on the blanket to place me just so: arms along the outside of my body, wrist to ankle. Once you are satisfied, you take the loose ends of the red rope and start securing me, right wrist to right ankle. The cuff you knot on my ankle is even longer than the one on my wrist, but equally artistic. Once finished on the right, you repeat your design on my left side faultlessly. All the while you are doing this, I am incredibly aware of you. Of your sometimes firm, sometimes feather-light touch, of your controlled breath. When our relationship started in 2011, Emile was eighteen – a year younger than me – and Isaac was fifteen.During the summer of 2011, Emile had visited her mother in Paris, then spent six weeks travelling around Europe. We’d first met at a hostel in Amsterdam, and since then we’d texted and called one another regularly. The distance between Winchester and Liverpool made it difficult for us to meet up regularly, so I saved up for a car, passed my driving test, and I’d spent every single weekend since then with her.Emile was beautiful. I still look back now and wondered why she settled for me – she was like a supermodel and could have had any guy she wanted. Their mother was white and their father black, so Emile and Isaac both had gorgeous, soft caramel-coloured skin. Emile had wide brown eyes and a cute heart-shaped face which was framed by curly dark-red shoulder-length hair. She had a tattoo around her neck which looked like a choker necklace. Her breasts were medium-sized, round.
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