My breath would catch itself, coming only in short ragged bursts, leaving my mouth to work wordlessly in disharmony with my brain as it processed such carnal delights. Would her heart beat faster? Surely not as hastily as mines. I dreamed that my heart would pummel forever louder and faster in my chest, maintaining a menacing tempo to my desire, as if by beating all the louder it would somehow drown out the rising tide of illicit desire rising within the essence of my being. When I closed my eyes and thought of these things, the world and its ills simply slid away. No more doubt or fear, no more worry or pain. In its place was that most coveted thing of all: oblivion. A significant proportion of my life was spent as if in a dream, or more precisely a nightmare. I tried to avoid contact with people, not really understanding them or the various mechanics involved of social intercourse and general human interaction. Clumsy and awkward I simply cut my losses and so discouraged. For the entire day, I maintained the demeanour of a pious well-behaved burqa-clad Muslim woman, teaching young girls about the virtues of religion and simultaneously tutoring other mainstream subjects. But I was quite desperate to rush home early and eagerly waited for the final bell.As soon as the bell rang, I swiftly walked out of the school premise – before the staff and children hoarded towards the main gate. I started walking at a brisk pace towards my apartment which normally takes 15 min to reach.The ubiquitous humid and sweaty Mumbai, and the full burqa, which included the Naqab (face cover), added to my misery. Nevertheless, it didn’t waver my desperation to reach home quickly. I passed through the by-lanes of Madanpura while glancing at the street food joints spread across the lane. The temptation took over me for a second, to buy the delicious Shami Kebab and pau, but I decided against it, as I was determined to hurry back home.I sprinted through the narrow lanes,.
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