Again. I guess it's all out now that I'm a lonely woman, and I can't imagine that this will help in any way that I'd be willing to pursue. I still can't believe this happened.With nothing going on that would provide me with an evening's entertainment, I fell back on catching up on my reading. As I've said, I hate to write at home when I've been at it all day so I read instead. I'd made a bit of progress on last month's journals when she showed up.I'd had a distinct feeling she'd be along given yesterday's outing. I'd been so certain I'd been careful enough to keep my identity secret, changing people's names, place names, even times, when doing so seemed prudent. You can't believe how much I wish I could take yesterday back. Or perhaps you can.Anyhow, I heard the knock at my door, and was pretty much certain who would be standing there. And yes, there was Cheryl. Looking at me in that way she has, for several seconds, until I was so nervous I was unable to hold her gaze. "What the. ..All my life Mam had told me about what a wonderful man my father was,and I'd grown up imagining him as a wise and gentle, almost saintlyfigure. It was only when the Occupation had ended and we'd learned hewas alive and was coming home to us that she started preparing me forhow old fashioned his views were and how stubborn he might be aboutthem.The clothes I'd loved the most were the ones she said we needed to getrid of, since my what she called my "gender issues"---issues far morecentral to my sense of self than what line of work I would go into---would need to be broken to him very carefully.While we'd had transsexuals on our world for a few centuries; eversince it was accepted that there were those who had male or femalebodies but possessed a pagh of the opposite sex, a spiritual imbalancethat deserved correction; to my father this was mostly a problem thatthe Ih'valla caste faced ("You know those sensitive artist types!"), ormaybe those overly-intellectual academics of the.
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