"AND naked, with your eyes closed, " you continue sternly. "I want you to sit up there and wait for me. And you better not touch yourself. If I catch you touching anything besides the bed, you will be severely punished." You look down your nose at me, like I was a lowly servant, and you say in your most authoritative tone, "Is that clear?" I nod meekly, facing the ground. "Yes, Daddy." I stay with my head bowed, kneeling on the floor, like the lesser person that I was, all the while my insides were churning with so much pleasure and arousal, I was about to burst. You look down at me, as if you were shocked to see me still sitting there. "What the FUCK do you think you are doing, WHORE?!?" I wince, knowing that I am now in trouble. I bow my body lower to the ground, a slave now bowing to the pharaoh. "I'm sorry, Daddy," I say, as meekly and as pretend fearfully as I possibly could. You grab my arm to help me off the floor a little roughly, because I like it like that. But also a. I gained an understanding of harsh truth. He was the inverse addicted rush experienced with Edward. It doesn’t matter. It happened. It’s the past. I escaped. How can I condemn him for what I did and what he taught me about myself?Do I have regrets? Of course. I have many. Those who say they don’t lack honest hindsight. When I truculently slapped the girl who insulted my father’s reputation in high school, I was ready for a nail scratching, hair-pulling catfight. Instead, her reaching up her hand in shock to touch the slapped cheek, her crying wail as she ran away, my learning of her personal tragic puppet shadow, changed my rage to remorse.In the Mother Superior’s office, learning, while being scolded, her parents were divorcing, I rued if only I could take that slap back. It was too late. Time and space, we’re bound by them. Once done I couldn’t change what occurred. Then and there, I learned the meaning of turning the other cheek.My biggest regret is for my husband, his knowing I.
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