10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.And in closing...Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways. She was known to have several "girlfriends" in the red-light district with shady backgrounds. One of the ways she kept them on a leash was to serve as a supplier of their narcotic needs in return for their services. Even though it wasn't necessary, she thought it amusing to put Candy in the same box and enjoyed watching her perform for a promised "fix". It really looked like Candy was screwed two ways from Sunday no matter which way she turned. It was no surprise that the previous weekend, she had disappeared from Amy's former house and the police were not certain if it was Rodney who knew the reason or if it was the well-connected depraved lobbyist's wife. Either way, they marked it as a missing person and closed the case in a matter of a couple of weeks because they had a lot more important things to do like negotiating for an increase in pension benefits.Her former husband Douglas was not too upset about her disappearance because he had plenty of problems of his own. He took all.
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