.strangely enough, I wasn't! In fact, rather than angry, I found myself very sexually aroused by it!Our marriage was over. I didn't try and fool myself into thinking it wasn't, and yet, in spite of the fact that we were no longer married, I would have gladly gone back to her...even if she kept fucking Duane, or whoever else she might have fucked besides him; but she'd made it perfectly clear that there was absolutely no way that she wanted back together with me! Nevertheless, I carried a torch for her for a long time; and I began to find that the thought of her fucking that young black guy---excited me, sexually!I can't begin to count the many, many times I sat alone in my apartment in the evenings after work, or on the weekends, jacking off while picturing my ex-wife fucking Duane---it had to be many hundreds of times; and over time, I recalled the thing she'd said that afternoon at her company's picnic, when she'd replied: "So---who are YOU going to please with that little thing!?". " I've just under an hour left on my shift. I'll think about it. If I decide to join you, I'll call your room and let you know." I know Mike wants to see you, but I want you to stay even more than he does. I think you're very beautiful."With that, Cindy bid me a temporary farewell and walked off back to their room.That final hour of the shift just flew by as I tried to make up my mind what to do. I told Cindy the truth, I'd not had a relationship with a man for over three years. I barely dated. That didn't mean I lacked for sexual desire. To the contrary, I exploded into puberty very early and I discovered almost immediately that I had a full blown sex drive. But, I was too shy and too scared to do more than kiss before the football captain and after him, I just didn't trust men any more.My fingers, a vibrator, and my ten inch dildo were my "men," that satisfied my raging sex drive. That high school football captain was so inept that he never even got my cherry. I had to do that.
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