Now, however, a strange yearning drove me on. One that I feared, yet had to explore. I had to know. Was I a slut? Am I a slut. To be used by men for their enjoyment. I had to laugh, for I suddenly realized that this latter part was my marriage: Being used by hubby. The selfish bastard.KMart was coming back into view. Driving more carefully, more attentively, I switched lanes. The centre. The right. The turn lane.Fear gripped me.A quick glance over my left shoulder, a mighty jerk on the steering wheel, and I was propelling the car recklessly back into the line of traffic. I breathed a sigh of relief as I drove passed the store. Well, at least I made it passed! That's a good start. Right?Wrong.Mentally I kicked myself. Not once. Not twice. But several times. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to laugh -- hysterically. I wanted... I wanted to go through with this so badly it hurt. I was tired of thinking of the "what ifs". I was tired of imagining my husband dominating me. I. With luck, she could let it go with the condition that I drop the thesis, and I could even trap that bastard. But what if she didn't, what if she accuse me of academic fraud, it certainly would lose much more than $2000. Shit! I was so close, and to fail after all my sacrifices. It's really frustrating. No. I have to play this card. I am brave, I can do what it takes." Ok. Karen. I agree to both offers", she said whit less conviction than she intended.Karen immediately called her friend."Yes, you may pick it right now. I will talk with the storage facility manager so you don't have any problems ... Yes ... Just leave me the cash later in my office ... Thanks ... you are a sweet guy"Then she hung up and said."Ok. I have to go now. I'll give you the money before your Monday meeting. By the way, I will be out of town for the weekend, I'll see you on Sunday night, but don't worry I will give you the money by then".Lillian felt a hole in her stomach. Just like this, all of her possessions.
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