At 16, 15 and 13, Greg, Marsha and Jan all felt too old for "Campouts",and so elected to stay home with their mother, Carol, who had to attend a PTAseminar. Of course, Alice the housekeeper would be home, too. So with a light heart and (thankfully) a not-too-crowded car, the four setoff for the California foothills and a local camp spot the Brady Bunch had beenfrequenting for years. Later that (proverbial) evening.. Carol had called and told Alice that she had decided to attend the PTAbanquet that evening as well. "Don't wait up," she said, "I'll probably stay thenight." "Okay, Mrs. Brady," Alice chirped. The thought of Carol's Absence excitedher at first, then she remembered that Mike was up in the mountains. "Shit," shethought, "a perfect opportunity for us to fuck up a storm and he's hanging withthe babes in the woods. Looks like it's dildo time tonight." She briefly considered Greg. He was quite a piece of meat and, if geneticshad anything to do with. "Hey, Buddy." I tried to be cheerful, but it just didn't fly. He could tell immediately."Ok, what's wrong, Dad?"I let out another deep breath as a loud sigh. "Well, a couple of hours ago, Roger Berman was arrested for Felony Assault and Unlawful Restraint." Holy crap! Really?" Yes, really, and your mother was almost arrested along with him." Wait-what?! Dad, you're joking, right?! What the Hell happened?!"So I gave him the short and Edited-for-minors edition of what had gone on, even though he was out and on his own. I pulled no punches about how I'd struggled to get free or the state of my wrists, however. Both were still bandaged, and I would need to change them soon as the blood had started to seep through."Oh my God! Dad, are you SURE that Mom would do that?!" I know what I heard, Eric. I won't go into detail, but there were tell-tale signs that they were going all the way. The cops have it all in the police report, though." Jesus, Dad! I can't believe that asshole managed to.
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