If I had a gun, or some other type of weapon I would just end it all right there. After a few minutes, I again started driving, where, I didn't care, and I just drove.My head was pounding, and I pulled into a parking lot of an all night grocery store and went inside to get some painkillers. I figured I would kill two birds with one stone, relieve the pain in my head, and consume the entire bottle to relieve the pain in my soul.I walked down an aisle that had cleaners and such, and spotted drain cleaner, and quickly read the label that said it was poison, and very deadly if swallowed. I grabbed the bottle and turned back to the checkout counter, this would be faster.I drove back to the hotel where Marsha was staying, and sat in the parking lot for more than an hour contemplating my demise when it suddenly hit me. Why, why should it be me that pays the price? I certainly did nothing; it was Marsha, and the other girls in my life that brought such misery.I went to the rear of the hotel. She looked ... inviting. “I think I could get used to this. It’s actually a pretty comfortable mattress.” I stretched out beside her.“Lily, I don’t know if I want to be your lover. I wouldn’t mind trying it once. God knows, I’ve tried everything else.”“Really? Tell me about what you’ve done.” She rolled onto her side and faced me, resting her elbow on the bed and her face in her hand. I really wanted to tell her about my former life and how I got here, but I didn’t want to get locked away in an asylum. Do they still have those?Instead, I told her what happened on prom night and she was so outraged she wanted to drive to Fargo and do some damage to Jesse. I told her what I’d done to destroy his reputation and she rolled onto the floor laughing. She crawled back up into the bed.“What else did you do?”“I went kind of crazy. I slept with a different boy every weekend until graduation. The first one and the last one were pretty damned good.” I told her about Carl, the fifteen-year-old.“A.
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