I should have known it couldn’t last.The Christmas Ball took place on the last Saturday before Christmas. And since school had finished earlier in the week, Clarissa and I decided to have our night in front of the telly on Friday and treat the ball as our date night. She cooked yet another meal that made my taste buds dance for joy—a turkey breast steak stuffed with leek, mushroom and bacon and topped with melted cheese—and watched me eat it, as she always did, wearing the most satisfied of her many gorgeous smiles.After swallowing the last delicious mouthful, I sat back, closed my eyes and sighed.“Enjoy that?”“Oh, yeah.”“Good. I’ve got a dessert planned I think you’ll enjoy too.”“Cheesecake?”She shook her head.“What then?”“You’ll see.” She stood and picked up her wine glass. “Come on, bring the bottle. I’ve got a new DVD I want to watch.”We settled in our usual position on the sofa, me sitting at one end, her sitting next to me, legs tucked up underneath her and her head resting on. There's nothing else in today's youth. Dangerous!" I say yes. There're so many thing going wrong here! No, it's not okay when our c***dren get addicted to porn. When they mob their pears in fucking shitstorms. Or when criminals go chasing for then as prey. That's the bad side of the world wide web. You agree, or you must be blind! That's why I won't go further here. I was raised within such prejudice on sexuality, eroticism, and nudity. And I was born naked. You may know what comes next: I would get many psycho complexes. I felt only like a weak link. Somewhat curses with homesexuality, fur affinity, exhibitionizm, masochizm, et cetera. I don't believe in the devil but what demons are in my unlucky heart? That was the way I was thinking all along. It used to be some cruel years till I would realize the only devil was me. When I were so stupid to punish myself for what I am, there's no-one left that I could blame, right? I can't really fight my feeling of, well, that my younger.
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