Madison spent the trip there in a white bikini, lapping up the sun and reading Anais Nin’s Delta of Venus. She surprises me sometimes. She puts on this show of being young and naïve and accommodating, but she’s actually quite strategic, and I often wonder what her real intentions are. What is her end game? She’s like an actress who never comes out of character, and to be honest, I have no idea who she really is. There is something that kind of appeals to me about that. It’s like living, breathing, and touching a fantasy, and somehow that feels safe in a way that I can’t quite explain. I also wonder, though, what this is really about for her, and I feel unsettled by the fact that I can’t figure her out and I don’t understand what game she is playing or how I fit into it. Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of pleasure for the sake of pleasure, and I like exploring this new world, but I know that it’s not real and that it can’t last forever. I also know that I’m not a main character. "Oops!! Thanks, Dad," I said, and twitched my shirt down, completely unashamed. I played my next word: S-N-A-R-E, off of his last word.Later I hung up the wash outside just before we went to sleep. That night, I was awoken by a loud thundercrash, seemingly just outside our cabin. A summer storm was passing through, with a decent wind blowing it. A light went off in my head, and I went to fetch a kitchen knife. I went outside into the rain, and went to the line, which I carefully frayed through with the blade. I then released all of our clothes into the wind, and watched them get carried away down the mountainside.I came back in, soaked to the skin, dried and replaced the knife, and went to the bottom of the ladder to the loft."Dad!" I squeaked in a frightened voice, "the clothesline's gone!"He came down quickly."I went to get our clothes in, but the line's been torn, and the clothes are all gone!" Karen, you're soaked. You'll catch your death." He grabbed my blanket and wrapped it.
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