Actually, she was as old as his Bettina the last time he saw her just before leaving for the eastern front. He was returning to the godforsaken place after a two week leave back home. He had not visited Bettina because he felt she was far too self-conscious of her lack of mobility and shrunken legs. He had seen her from a distance and saw she was well tended and appeared stable and good-natured as always. He did not think it a good idea for her to resume contact with him because he was unlikely to return from Russia a second time.He had spent each night with a different female so there would be no long goodbyes or tender traps to entangle his thoughts while he was trying to survive in dreadful circumstances. This innocent child Ada was not on his radar as a potential bed-mate because his train was leaving in less than two hours and her age was a bit tender for his liking. Apparently, she didn't seem to see any barrier to her flirting because she sat down next to him and showed him a. As I grew older I became more conscious of these sometimes excessive displays of affection. As much as I welcomed them I was also aware of how other mothers never behaved with their sons. I carefully observed this when visiting friends and watched them interact with their mother. It was nothing like my mom and me. I was torn between the two conflicting emotions that raged in my young head and crotch. The head wanted to attempt reason and rationalize what was ging on and my crotch just wanted the physical gratification. I had no one that I dare confide these thoughts to. The word i****t had entered my lexicon and the dictionary definition stated quite clealy that it was a bad thing to pursue such feelings. A benign flirtation continued for a few years. The marriage was getting worse and they argued a lot. Mom often fled their bedroom and found refuge in my room. I held her in my arms as she cried and wanted nothing more than to be alone with me. Was this some sort of declaration of.
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