This damn cage was making me.* * *We went to the drag show, and it was as if there were two sets ofperformers. One was the over-the-top imitations of women. The other wastransgender women who were honestly trying to pass without starving todeath.The four of us sat at a table in the back corner, watching CherryDelight dance. She moved fluidly across the stage, as one with themusic. Greg looked at her with lust; I looked at her wondering where shebought her heels.Once again, Darla was into the show. She drank heavily, as if she weretrying to douse her own fire this time.Finally, she looked at Greg and Amber, his wife. And she said words thatleft me cold."You know, Jenny is prettier." Who is Jenny?" Amber asked."Benny is Jenny," Darla slurred. "And Jenny is Benny. Jenny is my sissy.And she could put all of these women to shame." What?" Jenny is my bitch. She wears dresses, too. You'd like her, Greg. She'sa submissive bitch, aren't you honey?"I stared at my feet. I could not believe my. I didn’t consider myself a jock though. I was 5’ 8” and about 140 pounds and had absolutely no muscle. I was a twig compared to everyone else. During lunch the conversation was about what I call the “sluts” of our town, as usual. To me the conversation was boring so I just sat and ate my food pretending that I was listening. That’s because what most people don’t know is that I’m gay. I never told anyone that I was gay and it really bothered me. And what bothered me even more is that my crush was also my best friend. I couldn’t stand having to hide my feelings from him. It was the only secret I couldn’t bear to tell him. I was afraid that it would ruin our friendship that I needed very much. As corny as it sounds Chase was the one that was always there for me. He always knows what to say to make me feel better. If I was sad he would comfort me, hold me and wouldn’t care what others thought. This made me wonder why I was so worried about telling him. I was so deep in thought.
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