But that's not the same thing as actually living the sissy slut lifestyle24/7, something that has been my fantasy for more than a decade , butnothing close to being my reality.Heaven knows I was living out my fantasies in the privacy of my own home.It was more than ten years since I started shaving my body, painting mytoenails and started wearing panties, hose and a but plug to work everysingle day.Five years ago I added a steel chastity and hormones to the mix. I had mynipples pierced and even added a phoenix tattoo to symbolize mytransformation into the woman I fantasized about becoming.But it all remained a fantasy. As I got older, I found myself playingwith fewer men, and I put on some weight making it harder for me to passas a sissy, let alone a woman.Still, I would occasionally get really horny (and a little tipsy) and goonline in search of some hard cock. I found myself posting increasinglyrevealing messages on FetLife, SissyMeet, AdultFriendFinder and alt.com.I was tempting. He recalled the many terrible things he had said about the white race, countless jabs and insults that pitted them as an enemy to his people, and maybe he had gone a little too far in his castigation of them, all because he was always a nobody at their doorstep, knocking fiercely but never allowed in, not by anyone.He took the Plath paper out of his backpack. In exchange she would go to the Newark slam with him. But he didn’t want to go to the slam anymore. That was his past life, and he didn’t want to return to it. Never in his life did he feel so helpless and lost, a confusion as acute as someone performing brain surgery on him. Then he thought that his father’s genes must be kicking in, all of his genetic memory about white people and their teachings dumping on him, reshaping his rebelliousness into an attitude more refined, quiet, and studious, and dare he think appropriate and acceptable and conforming.When Amanda walked in, he was in the middle of proofreading the Plath paper..
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