"Please don't tell anyone,Mommy," I begged her.She gave me another hug. "I promise, honey. You are so sweet to be mylittle girl, even if it's only for a while. This will always be oursecret," she repeated, then we were off to the kitchen to bake a cake.At first I didn't know where I was, or even who I was...why was Ilistening to a Chicago radio station? I sat up with a start in thepitch dark room, and for a moment I thought I was back in my oldapartment, being awakened by the 5:00 alarm for another manic day on thetrading floor....Grim realization slowly dawned after I opened the blackout curtains andswitched off the radio. I was back to myself by the time the hoteloperator called to inform me that it was noon, cheerfully adding that itwas ten degrees outside, before wishing me a pleasant day in Chicago.After a quick shower and shampoo, I unpacked my mourning clothes withfeelings of dread and foreboding. Dressing as a woman was totallyroutine for me by now, but I was very. At first he was just that older guy I looked up to, curious about life past my mediocre high school existence and enamored by his seemingly worldly charm. Back then I was still an innocent, naive young woman, who knew that she loved sex but wasn't quite sure how to test the waters. Brian helped me enter the new world of adult life and sexual intercourse. We would walk hand-in-hand through his house to his back bedroom, fifteen feet of rooms and hallways to muffle the sounds of what actually happened back there. He had a TV and an Xbox in his room, well-equipped by my standards, and so we hung out back there at first under the pretence of gaming and nerding out. Like I said, "at first." Over a couple weeks, we migrated to cuddling on his bed watching a movie, hitting first, then second base. After the movie ended he'd drive me home and we'd make out a block down from my parent's house. As strict Catholic parents go, the knowledge that your straight-A, high GPA high school-graduate,.
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