With so much guilt and so much remorse, I never did apologize. I never really took the time to tell all my friends goodbye. My breathing became shallower and I know; it’s happening now. I'm so scared but still serene as sweat trickled on my brow. My vision starts to blur real bad and my eyelids are heavy to lift. I sense the feeling like I'm flying; up high and adrift. I can feel the cold gripping my soul as I thought in my head. I imagine my body laying there pumping a pool of red. This is it; I'm right here, take me along this track. Then I slip into the Void and my world goes finally black.I heard old friends calling me and loved ones whispered my name.I was held in a soothing light but it exposed my shame.I heard those voices changing to screams and then I suddenly fell,Then I heard crying ahead and knew I was falling to Hell.I saw faces from my past and the people I’ve robbed of life,with. "You lookvery sweet Martin." Thank you Uncle Daniel," I lisped. "Oh! I'm sorry it's not Martin, it'sSusie isn't it?...Sarah did tell me you are in role for the entireweekend."He paused and then said, "OK sweetheart, now when Adrienne, gets here Iwill greet her at the entrance and the bridesmaids will follow us intothe church. You will go in front of us and scatter the petals up to thealtar. When you get there go and sit on the second aisle to your left.That's all there is to it...can you remember that Susie?" He spoke as ifto a child and I replied as one."Yes Uncle Daniel, I'll try," and I bobbed a little curtsey to him.A couple of minutes later Sarah arrived and gave me big smile and athumbs up. I smiled back weakly and felt my heartbeat quicken up as Isaw Adrienne's car pulling up. She got out and the bridesmaids helpedher gather her skirts then Danny offered his arm and they came to theentrance. This was my big moment, I turned and faced the entrance andthe organ began playing as.
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