The lights are off, most likely the cause of a dead battery. But he’s not going anywhere. He is where he belongs.The door is already open. He never closed it last night. Sitting down in the seat, he looks into the rearview to see her face through the back windshield. With a frown he says, “Everywhere I go I see your face. Every sound I hear if the sound of your voice. Why can’t I let you go?”He drops his eyes and reaches over to pop open the glove compartment. “Everything about me is a lie. At least it seems that way when I look in your eyes. The truth scares the shit out of me. Whoever said love is real and love is blood has never felt the way that I do. What does it matter? What’s done is done and I should get on with my life.”Pulling out a set of dangling earrings in the shape of a cross, he chuckles to himself, thinking of how it never saved her. “Well, I don’t know what it means, but I can’t seem to make myself forget. Was it something that you said? Was it all the guilt inside. I'm now just about as happy as I've ever been. I'm now what I've alwaysdreamed and hoped I would be, yet never, ever believed it would come topass. I have a dream job, friends, a loving relationship. I'moccasionally seeing guys, just casually, for now, learning my way aroundrelationships, and there is Jillian who got me out of my shell so tospeak, encouraged me to follow my dream, and helped me in ways I don'tknow if I could ever repay.Yet, as the weeks turn to months and new movie projects replace the oldones, with different sets of people, I can feel that something ischanging. Our moments together are just as intense as they've beensince she showed me all the ways women can enjoy themselves and theirpartners. But she doesn't seems as interested in going out for lunch orat other times. And there are more and more times when she does go outthat I am pointedly not invited. She is always very pleasant when we'retogether giving little to no indication what she might be thinking. .
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