..1991? I'm much more progressive sexually as you can see from my situation here..." One of y'all threw a rusty van and it got caught in my friend's eye, and now she have to wear a glass eye. We was real mad at you." Doremus, it was an unfortunate time of..." I am dyslexic, so I couldn't get yo' license plate, but I am going to bring Cherry Forever, who only have one eye to yo' house, and you going to get sued." Uh, the statute of limitations..."What the hell was wrong with Trixie, putting me in this absurd situation, goddamnit.As I said, I was standing there naked in the parlor with my hands locked behind my head, listening to Doremus's life story and her series of peculiar assaults on my character. I was a Hobson State sophomore, for God's sake...Doremus began getting heated at the memory of my long past behavior, and then she began slapping me.One slap was so hard that my nose began bleeding slightly, and then Doremus punched me and my lip also began to leak claret.Then Doremus. So then I tried to make the amnesia pheremone, and the results were the same, no liquid again." Did you try the sex drive pheremone?" Aimee asked."Not yet," I said, "Besides who would I try it on? I don't have any girlfriends yet." Well not yet, but maybe it would be better if you had it ready so that when you do, you will be ready," she suggested enthusiastically.Then she added, "Did you know Romeo and Juliet were only 13 years old when they got married? That's the same age as us." That guy looked a lot older than 13, and so did the girl!" I said."That's just because they are actors," she said. "But in the story by Shakespeare he wrote that she had not seen her 14th birthday ... so that means she was 13." I guess people got married early in those days, I know that early Americans were often married off at age 14, and having babies by then too." Uggh," she replied, "No babies for me, at least not yet." Then you'd better not be having sex," I said matter of factly."Do you see me.
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