He would spend the rest of his days getting used to a wired-jaw, four missing teeth and a disfigured nose that bore the unmistakable trademark of most professional boxers. It was fast approaching midnight when they arrived at Mary Boyd’s house. Mary made everyone welcome with a drink, including a couple of strangers who were staggering around clearly unsure of where they were or how they had got there. As the coloured baubles and silver glitter on the Christmas tree twinkled in the glowing coals of the open fire someone announced the countdown to the New Year. As Big-Ben chimed the departure of 1967 and the arrival of 1968, desperate off-key renditions of ‘Auld-Lang-Syne’ chimed around the room. After the usual protocols of shaking hands and too many overenthusiastic kisses, everything was back to normal. It was time for drinking and a change of music. Under the watchful eye of Mary, he lifted the lid of the record player and removed four pieces of vinyl held on the vertical. I can not hope for this to be as I would like it. Doing so would mean not considering you and your situation. So instead I attempt to get through the day as best I can. I muddle through. I struggle to maintain my composure each and every minute of my day. A day that drags on and on and gets harder and harder to get through. Each day I wonder. Each day I tell myself. I tell myself that this it is for the best. That it can’t be any other way. It has to be this way and this way only. I try to explain it to myself. I try to understand it. I try to make peace with it. I try to convince my heart that the ache, the pain, the emptiness will go away. That there will be a ‘someone’ for me, a ‘someday’ for me. That there is the possibility, however remote, of a new beginning, a new start for my failed life. Each day I try. Each day I hope. I hope you are well. I hope you are OK. I hope that I am at least a passing thought in your day to day life now. I hope you remember the things we talked.
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